did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
