I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My liver just had a heart attack.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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