if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
