Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
