I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
