it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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