The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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