I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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