Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Randomize
