I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
