2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
