So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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