There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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