ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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