During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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