Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
