So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
