ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I wish there were birth control emojis
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
