Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
