i permit you to call me
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
