Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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