I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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