Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
