I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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