i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
