So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
