we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
