I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
