Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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