i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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