i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
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I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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