I got chris browned last night
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
