I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
