She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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