Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Damn victory sex feels great
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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