Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
