Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We are two peas in an std pod
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
