there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
