I wish I only lived at night.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
