Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I need to sanitize my soul.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
