i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
