bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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