I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
