why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
