Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
