capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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