I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
