I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwadâ€
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