Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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