My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
