You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize