Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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