Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
