Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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