This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
