Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He passed out mid-signature
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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