As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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