is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
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Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
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I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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