and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
