Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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