Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
