guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
