Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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