is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
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I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
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Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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