yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
